I once heard an Oxford professor, who frequently attended formal dinners with the great and good, say he had heard the late Queen Elizabeth II quote two mottoes for life. The first one was: Live Gratefully. I’ll come to the second later. Her words struck me at the time because I wasn’t feeling grateful. As a shell-shocked divorcée I had had a bad knock and it had left me in a new place midlife: Alone. Lacking security. Having to give up doing what I loved in order to work at something else to keep myself afloat financially. Tired. Facing an uncertain future. Yet these words from someone I admired and saw as steady as a rock warmed me and got me thinking. 'Though much is taken, much remains' I decided I'd experiment with 'Living Gratefully' and see if it helped. Almost instantly the words of a poem came to mind: 'Though much is taken, much remains.' The point being that yes, there had been loss, but if you stepped back and looked at your life less emotionally, you could appreciate what you still had. If I cleared away the mists of self-pity (blue panels) some simple truths I could appreciate (yellow panels) began to emerge:

And would it work for you?

Can relocating aid personal recovery?

Featuring lace, linen, and lavender

When some previously unimaginable loss seems to be happening to you, I first recommend two things to hold onto.

As August turns to September, somewhere in the crisp or misty morning air I catch a hint of fresh energy and purpose, as though generated by all the schoolkids returning to a new school year.

Starting this September: 'September Spring' is about comfort, self-soothing, and getting through the early period of some major loss.

Or, a Springtime to blossom

I am writing this in the members' lounge of a flying club. Sprawled around on the leather Chesterfields are men — mostly — of varying ages who are either in the process of acquiring a pilot's licence, or training others to acquire one. I don't fit either of these categories so what am I doing here? This is one of the things I'm choosing to do differently in Part 2 Of My (Love?) Life. What happened in Part 1 I was married first to a man who, several years after we got married, developed a passion for sailing. Not the gentle cruising type, but full-on ocean-racing, requiring yacht-master training and qualifications. I, on the other hand, couldn't swim, was not surprisingly fearful of deep water, prone to seasickness, and am miserable when cold and wet. So sailing wasn't for me but I had no problem with him taking time out to pursue his new interest at a sailing club on the coast. It didn't occur to me not to trust him and I knew if I tagged along with a brave face I would simply be a drag on him. Whenever he was off for a few days' sailing I got busy with my own interests, and loved hearing about his experiences when he came home. Unfortunately some of these experiences included ones he wasn’t telling me about: he began an affair with a woman, also married, at the yacht club and ultimately left me for her. Making Part 2 different Fast forward all these years and now that I am in a new marriage, I find myself handling my husband's individual interests slightly differently. He is learning to fly and I go with him regularly to the flying club, making myself at home in the clubhouse while he's up in the skies.